What are the biggest red flags in texting?

Love-bombing (excessive flattery too early), inconsistent response patterns, guilt-tripping when you don't reply fast enough, and refusing to make concrete plans are major red flags.

Is slow texting a red flag?

Not necessarily. Some people are genuinely busy or prefer in-person communication. It's a red flag when combined with other signs like only texting late at night or being inconsistent.

How can you tell if someone is manipulating you over text?

Watch for guilt-tripping, gaslighting ('I never said that'), constant boundary-pushing, and making you feel bad for having a life outside the conversation.

15 Dating Red Flags You Can Spot in Their Texts

Sometimes the biggest red flags aren’t what someone says in person — they’re hiding in your text threads. Here are 15 red flags to watch for. And when you spot healthy texting patterns instead, learn to recognize green flags in texting.

Communication red flags

1. Love-bombing early

If they’re calling you “perfect” and talking about your future together before you’ve met in person, that’s not romantic — it’s a red flag. Genuine interest builds gradually.

2. Never asking questions

A person who only talks about themselves and never asks about you isn’t interested in getting to know you. Conversation should be a two-way street. If their messages are consistently short and unengaging, here’s how to respond to dry texts.

3. Inconsistent response times

Going from instant replies to days of silence without explanation can signal they’re keeping you as a backup option.

4. Getting angry when you don’t reply fast

Healthy people understand that everyone has a life outside their phone. Guilt-tripping you for slow replies is controlling behavior.

5. Vague about their life

If they dodge basic questions about their job, friends, or daily life, they may be hiding something — like a relationship.

Boundary red flags

6. Pushing to meet immediately

Some urgency is fine, but pressure to meet before you’re comfortable is a boundary violation.

7. Sexual messages too early

Unsolicited sexual content before you’ve established that kind of rapport is disrespectful.

8. Ignoring your “no”

If you decline something and they keep pushing, that’s a fundamental respect issue.

9. Asking for personal info too soon

Your address, workplace, or financial details aren’t first-date conversation.

10. Negging

Backhanded compliments designed to lower your self-esteem (“You’re pretty for someone who…” ) are manipulation tactics.

Emotional red flags

11. Everything is their ex’s fault

No self-awareness about past relationships is a pattern likely to repeat.

12. Hot and cold behavior

Intense interest followed by withdrawal keeps you off-balance — and that’s the point.

13. Making you feel guilty for having boundaries

“If you really liked me, you’d…” is emotional manipulation, not romance.

14. Victim mentality in every story

Everyone they’ve ever known did them wrong? The common denominator is them.

15. Moving the relationship offline too quickly

Wanting to switch to a private messaging app immediately can be an attempt to avoid platform safety features.

Know what to say next

Once you’ve spotted the flags, TextVibe helps you respond with confidence. Paste the conversation, pick your tone, and get reply suggestions that match how you want to handle the situation — whether that’s setting a boundary or keeping things light. And if you’re second-guessing every message, learn to stop overthinking texts.

Try TextVibe free and never second-guess a reply again.