How to Text a Girl: The Modern Guy's Guide to Not Screwing It Up

Texting a girl shouldn’t feel like defusing a bomb, but here we are.

You’re overthinking every message, waiting for the “right” time to text back, wondering if you should use an emoji or if that’s too much.

Here’s the truth: texting a girl isn’t complicated. We’ve just been fed terrible advice for years.

Here’s what actually works.

The Basics: What Girls Actually Want in Texts

They want:

Genuine conversation, not games
Effort that matches theirs
Someone who can hold a conversation
Signs that you’re interested without being desperate

They don’t want:

One-word replies
“Hey” with no follow-up
Paragraphs about how much you like them after two messages
Late-night “wyd” texts when you haven’t been talking

Rule #1: Don’t Play Texting Games

The old advice — “wait 3 days,” “never text back right away,” “make her chase you” — is outdated and counterproductive.

Do this instead: Reply when you see the message. If you’re genuinely busy, reply when you’re free.

Most girls can tell when you’re playing games, and it’s not attractive.

Rule #2: Put in as Much Effort as She Does

If she sends paragraphs, send paragraphs. If she asks questions, ask questions back. If she’s taking hours to reply with one word, don’t send essays.

Match her energy. This keeps the balance and shows you’re paying attention.

Rule #3: Ask Real Questions

“Wyd” and “how was your day” get boring fast.

Better questions:

“What’s the most chaotic thing that happened to you this week?”
“If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?”
“What’s something you’re really into right now?”

Give her something interesting to respond to.

Rule #4: Don’t Overthink Timing

Myth: Wait X hours before replying so you don’t seem desperate. Reality: Reply when it makes sense. Sometimes that’s 5 minutes, sometimes it’s a few hours.

If you’re having a good conversation, keep it going. Don’t artificially slow it down to seem “cool.”

Rule #5: Know When to Move Off the App

If you’ve been texting for a few days and the conversation is good, suggest meeting up or moving to regular texting.

How to do it: “I’m not on here much — want to text instead? Here’s my number: [number]”

Or:

“We should grab coffee/drinks this week. What’s your schedule like?”

Don’t stay in the texting phase forever. The goal is to meet in person.

What NOT to Do

Don’t send:

Good morning texts before you’ve even met
Paragraphs about your day when she’s giving short replies
Multiple texts in a row if she hasn’t responded
Compliments that are only about her looks
Late-night texts asking to hang out

These all scream “inexperienced” or “desperate.”

Signs She’s Into It (Keep Going)

She asks you questions back
Her replies are thoughtful, not one-word
She uses emojis or exclamation points
She suggests things to talk about
She responds relatively quickly

Signs She’s Not Interested (Pull Back)

One-word answers consistently
Takes days to reply
Never initiates conversation
Doesn’t ask questions about you
Ignores your attempts to make plans

If she’s not interested, no amount of texting will change that. Move on.

The Bottom Line

Texting a girl isn’t about tricks or strategies. It’s about being genuine, putting in effort, and reading the signals.

Reply when it makes sense. Ask good questions. Match her energy. Make plans.

If she’s interested, it’ll be obvious. If she’s not, you’ll know that too.

Don’t overthink it.